Started back to work today
..........cried all morning because I had to leave Emery at daycare (7 weeks old today). Now I'm feeling a little better but this morning it was a mess. Oh how I love that child and putting her down this morning was pure torture! I'm sure the ladies at the daycare think I'm nutty but that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The boys weren't the same because they both started daycare after age 1 - so they were a little older and both looked forward to going but Emery was oblivious! She just kept looking up at me and I'm thinking that she's thinking "where are you going momma" but she just looks and those little eyes broke my heart.
I've called throughout the day and she is getting a great report every time, but I miss my cuddle bug and hate that I have to sit alone in a room and pump rather than pile up in the recliner to nurse her....... Oh the joys of being a working mom! ((((SIKE))))
I started a Journal for Emery last week and vow to write in it everyday that she is away from me and when she's older she will get to read just how crazy I am. I wish I would have done this for the boys, but I think I may start now - the book of Jager & the book of Park from their mother's point of view! I can already imagine Park reading his and cracking up at the silly things he does all the time. His latest was telling Anthony Saturday night "give momma her baby back" as Anthony was holding Em - he understands that Ant is her daddy to but if he wants to sit with daddy little sister has to GO! He has transitioned so much better than I could have ever imagined, he likes to hold her everyday and likes to talk to her while I give her a bath. I finally found the video camera charger so at her next bath I will get some footage! Jager's book will mostly be my boasts on his athletic talents since that is pretty much what he does, his new thing is skateboarding - as if I didn't worry enough between football, basketball, baseball & golf - he now LOVES to skateboard.... I guess I'm not so worried about the Golf but you never know! He has also joined the DGE chorus which I'm very excited about - never thought he would do it but seems to like it very much, we shall see if he sticks with it though. So other than working, taking care of my kids and writing stories to my kids - I'm learning to sew and cook oh and yeah I'm still PTO president... YAY for me! ((((another)))
Other than my separation anxiety issues and my new Journal to Emery, my work day went great - had plenty to keep me busy and great people to laugh and swap stories with since I needed to catch up on the latest events at the office. An unexpected phone call lead to a big blessing that I so desperately needed - and I have only one person to thank for that...... Every time I feel like I'm falling further down, he finds a way to pull me back up and put all my faith in him.
God is so Good, all of the time.
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