Better.

It's been a week today since we lost our Papaw. Last night was the first night since the week before his funeral that I have actually slept more than 3 or 4 hours a night, today was the first day that I didn't cry, today was the first time I got it all off my chest about how I felt and took a refreshing breathe realizing that my sadness is better.

Better because I know my Papaw is in a better place, better because he left us just as he would have wanted to leave us - not with the cancer eating away at him and not suffering, better because I know that I have another Angel in heaven looking out for our family, and better because when I called my mom today she didn't have that sad, guilt stricken sound in her voice that makes my heart break every time I talk to her.

Nothing in this world could ever make us forget, but death is a part of life, a sad part yes - but a big part indeed, and we have to move past the sadness and press on with what he gave us to live our lives and raise our kids the way he would see fit. I loved my Papaw as did all of the kids and grandkids but I've prayed night and day that I wouldn't be sad anymore and I would celebrate his life and laugh at all the funny things he used to say to me and I would be happy knowing that he's no longer in this cruel world. So, after a week I still miss him with all of my soul, and I still don't understand the exact cause of what took him away from us, but I have to admit, I am better.